we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
