jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
