His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
