she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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