when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
