At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
