i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
