No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
