I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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