before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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