He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
