no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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