im holly from the hills drunk
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
