ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
