Life is so much better after having sex.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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