i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
