My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
