he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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