It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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