Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
