just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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