i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
