How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
