This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
