how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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