She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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