I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
