Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize