Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
