Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
