Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize