you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
