Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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