i just had sex bonerless
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
