dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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