he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
