i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize