the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
