I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
