Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
