Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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