Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My nipple is on Facebook.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
