Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
