My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
