You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
