i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
