these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We need a shit load of segways right now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
