i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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