Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
