Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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