I can tuck mytits in my pants
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
