Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
NoShamevember. You game?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
