I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
