google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
