on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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