So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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