Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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