the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
