Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
