It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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