Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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