she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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