Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
