Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
