This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
