Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
